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我想喜欢你,如此而已

喜欢散文,除了每一句都那么美之外,它还能处处洞悉你欲说不能的话,等你读到了,你会恍然而窃喜,嗯嗯,就是这样,就是这样。。。偶尔读读,就好像回到那个纯真的年代,纯真的人儿,纯真的感情。比如这篇文章,原文《我想喜欢你,如此而已》————

年龄越大,也越不知该怎么去爱一个人,离的太近,怕被嫌弃,拉的太远,怕被忘记,脑子里搜刮了一堆甜言蜜语,又怕说出来彼此腻味,太主动怕不被在意,太冷漠怕被误解,如果在我们的心里,能伸出两只手,紧紧的拉在一起该有多好,这样我就不用语言行为来表示我对你的—喜欢。

我有时候会发愁谈感情,在感情里我是个智商比较低的人,就像有只猫,一直低着头看鱼缸里游动的小金鱼,嘴巴是馋的,可爪子扒拉着缸沿,怎么都够不着。

因为不知怎么对待感情,所以有时候会故作犯傻,爱情书不看,爱情电影立即关闭,听到情侣们你侬我侬的告白,也故意加紧步子,算是一种语言和心灵上的自欺欺人。

把自己关久了,未免也会想念爱情,和一个人十指相握,他的指尖温度传到你的指腹,这种诱惑无法抗拒。没有人能拒绝爱情的诱惑,就像端一块缀着草莓的奶油蛋糕,摆在你面前,阳光稀稀落落的洒在白色的骨碟上… …就算不爱吃,光看几眼,也心满意足。

我很喜欢那些,脸蛋很干净的情侣们。男孩把女孩的手包在夹克衫的衣兜里,女孩娇嗔的还略带埋怨的说:走慢点啊,可心里甜滋滋的跟随脚步。女孩举着雪糕,先让男孩咬一口,男孩虽故作冷酷,可嘴巴还是挨着雪糕,“吧嗒”一下啃掉了丁点。2个人就像两只在松树上蹦跃的小松鼠,把爱情磨成一颗颗小松果,盛在树洞里,等到来年冬天,天地间雪茫茫,路人都肿成了小点,你我并挨着,独看这苍茫而寂寥的人间。

爱情是很美好的,美好如仙女棒,它把你所有不好的、丑陋的心情都施了魔法。你的步子会越走越轻松,独走在夜间的小径,也会想放声歌唱;你想好好的热爱自己,为自己煮菠菜蛋汤,把颗颗红色的西红柿果装到胃里,美容肌肤;你会想给自己买花衣裳,把青春时不敢穿或忘记穿的衣服,都拿出来撺掇一番,你想把自己的年龄再倒着生长一遍,再倒着热爱一遍。你甚至会觉得,连地铁里汹涌的人流都变的可爱,每个人都在为了梦想,蓬勃的蜕变着。连擦肩路过的,那些你常常忽视的矮黄的、缀着霜的小野草,你都觉得它们刷刷抖动的叶子,似乎在和春天对着话,点缀了一个春的生机。

喜欢爱情,但爱情却并不是你圈养的宠物,你对它100分的好,它就还你100分,爱情有时候很没有道理。爱人在爱情里处主导作用,少年时的感情,因为每天朝夕相对,两人欲望也浅,共同的唯一愿望就是好好学习,考入同一所大学。蓝色的抽屉,黑色的黑板,两个人并坐在操场上,手指尖只是轻轻的勾在一起,注视篮筐就像眺望夕阳,已觉得知足。那时的感情就像还未熟透的苹果,什么养料都能让它蓬勃生花。想起高中和初恋在一起,他会在放学后,在大铁门的拐角处,拨着头发等我,亲吻他要垫起脚尖,但并不觉得辛苦,抽屉里有他塞下的包子加酸奶,已能开心的脸红一上午。那时还留很长的黑直发,碎碎的披在肩胛上,约会必是要提前一天就刷好球鞋的,怕鞋帮刷不干净,还会蘸上牙膏,细细的抹着。等你到了成年社会,被告白和恋爱次数增加后,爱情就像市场上十元钱任你捡的—被催熟的苹果,蔫的,被虫子咬的,都一股脑儿的冒出来。因为成年后欲壑难填,每座城市都想呆呆,每个喜欢的类型都想接触下,每种愿望都想一一尝试,就像一条路,忽然分出了无数条小径,竟不知该选择谁,和自己并排走到尽头。

对爱的生怯,也让我们不知该怎么对待一个人,离的太近,怕被嫌弃,拉的太远,怕被忘记,脑子里搜刮了一堆甜言蜜语,又怕说出来彼此腻味,太主动怕不被在意,太冷漠怕被误解。我们很多时候会犹豫进退,是因为自己和对方都不愿过多的说明自己要什么。大人的社会,貌似有一种通用法则,缄默的人总是有神秘魅力,爱情变成猜哑谜。真的很爱一个人,也会生出自卑感,总生怕自己有诸多缺点,配不上那个想到他,就觉得光芒四射的恋人。在爱的自卑和猜测里,我们才渐渐懂得,其实哪里有这么多那么多的技巧可言,爱情不过是各人各使一把力,你鼓励我,我安慰你,我们互通心意,互想恳切的深谈一句:“我爱你!”

可我还是想护住爱情,需要这么一个人,让我重回到少年时的单纯执拗,再相信一回“命中注定”。我想每个人都是如此的,我们心里,都住着一个很简单的,给几颗糖就能哄笑的小孩子,只是我们要脱掉西装,放下公文包,卸下领带,把脸上故作狡猾和冷酷的表情一一敲碎。我们要把我们心里的小孩子放出来,让她秉从天性,找到另一个小孩子,他们一起玩耍,一起在这个世界里摔跤,偶尔也怄气背影相对,但紧紧牵着的手,从来没有放开过… …

罗素说:“最好的爱情是彼此给予恩惠”。喏。我想,遇见你了,我的每个夜都是带着笑入眠的,黑夜亦是第二天的征程。这就是生命给我的最好馈赠吧。我不怕时光缓慢,亦不怕时光过急,我只想和你—相逢不晚也不早,一起优雅的,慢慢的,老去… …

我想喜欢你,如此而已。

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